We are all sexual beings from the day we are born to the day we die. So it's natural for couples to maintain sexual activity throughout their relationship and well into their twilight years.Relationship experts agree that sex is a key component of relationships but illness, surgery, and the physical factors that accompany ageing can all affect an older couple's sex life.

How ageing can affect sexuality

On the positive side, ageing couples can experience:

• Reduced frequency of sexual desire.
• A more leisurely lifestyle, with more time for sex.
• Greater understanding of each other's sexuality as they are more likely to know each other very well more enjoyable sex, even if less frequently.

On the negative side, there may be:

• Reduced frequency of sexual desire.
• Longer arousal time, with more genital stimulation needed.
• Reduced lubrication for women.
• Feeling of being unattractive and undesirable.
• Weaker erections and less powerful ejaculations.

How you can help yourself

Remember that a sex life is not compulsory. The point of your sex life is to bring greater happiness to you and your partner. If you both feel happy not to continue with your sex life, that's fine. But if you both wish to have an enjoyable sex life there's no reason why you shouldn't. You are entitled to the health benefits of a happy and healthy sex life.

You can do it differently. If you do both want to continue a sex life, sexual intercourse isn't the only way to express your love. If lack of an erection is a problem, consider masturbation, using a vibrator, or oral sex.

Adjust your expectations. Be honest with yourself about factors that might be having a negative effect on you sexually, and address these, either by changing your outlook, or changing what you do. For example, if you are worried about the appearance of your older body, choose clothing or lighting that allows you to look your best, then relax and forget about it. If you are worried about your ability to withstand vigorous sexual intercourse, try new positions that require less physical effort.

With your partner, take your time to set a relaxed mood and engage in foreplay. Use a lubricant if vaginal dryness or irritation is a barrier to enjoying sex. If you drink alcohol, remember that a small amount may relax you and increase your responsiveness, but too much alcohol is not likely to be helpful.

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are a risk no matter what age you are. Unless you and your partner have recently been tested or you are 100%sure that you both have been monogamous for many years without infection, make sure that you practice safe sex to prevent STDs.